It looks like just another day, I get up, have a
cuppa, eat a little breakfast and I’m off to work. I have a date set in my mind of what day it is. I’m cheerfully going along with my lovely wife and when we get to work about an hour late, the wife tells me her clock is screwed up and it was reading in Daylight Savings Time. So I figure we’re both screwed up today, no worries mate. We walk in and one of the girls tells my wife “Happy Birthday”, Oh crap I’m in for it now I didn’t even say the “Happy Birthday” thing because I was a day off and thought her big day was tomorrow. Not to mention I hadn’t even gotten a card or ordered some flowers (which I always do). Now every one’s going Happy Birthday all over the place and I’m feeling about 6” tall. Naturally some jerk has to ask what did Jerry get you for the big day? Guess what? Jerry didn’t get her anything because Jerry forgot all about it, which if the truth were known would probably make her happy. You know how you girls are after you hit 40. So if I’m not able to get a nice big present like the “Hope Diamond” or something like that it’s best to keep totally quiet.
I’m thinking how do I get out of here so I can at least get some flowers or something. No candy, can’t have calories, can’t be clothing because I’d never get anything right, I’ve tried. So flowers
and a card it is, I just have to lie my way out of here for a few minutes and I figure out the perfect ruse, I blurt it out and off I go; yippee I’m free. I zip down to the flower store and it’s out of business, great, I guess enough husbands forgot the wife’s birthday and they went under.
At least I know where to get a card and I go there, look and look in the rack and finally find three
out of a thousand cards that are for “Wife’s Birthday”. Lucky me, one is just sloppy enough that she’ll like it. I get to the counter and tell the clerk my tale of woe and she tells me there is a new flower store right up the street and I go and they have beautiful flowers roses; her favorite and accompanying other stuff (accoutrements) to go along with the roses, Woo Hoo; I’m saved. They will deliver too so I don’t have to carry the flowers with me, they will do it for no extra charge. It don’t get no better. I sign the card and drop it off at the house and zoom back to the office. Not too bad I was only gone for about thirty minutes.
We go home for lunch and she finds the card and Happy, Happy, Happy. Come back to work and the flowers get delivered so I’m back in good graces.
It just shows you how it goes. But a little bit of fancy footwork and my wife is a happy camper.